Happy Marriage

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Happy Marriage

Question

One of life’s most complicated questions.  Marriage is a complicated  entity the concept and the

Question

One of life’s most complicated questions.  Marriage is a complicated  entity the concept and the

Social design . Let’s answer this question from the two most important  viewpoints, the man and the woman. Allow me to speak from the male view first because it is the most direct opinion.  All my life I heard the statement, ” Happy Wife, happy Life.” What does this say for the husband’s happiness?  Here is the male truth; the secret is communication, respect , understanding, space and appreciation. 

  1. Communication, is the most difficult. Men and women speak a different language and they both derive different thoughts from what they hear. Therefore it’s important for a spouse to take additional time to fully understand what is being said. 
  2. Respect , though listed second is just as important as communication. In most cases respect is defined by the person that receive it. That’s right you can’t give respect and be assure it is received. What is important to note here you have to ask a person how to respect them, otherwise you are left to use the process of trial and error. 
  3. Understanding, is the compassion of a relationship. It the part that allow a spouse grace when there is effort but they get it wrong. Understanding, is how we control our disapproval by given someone the benefit of the doubt. 
  4. Space, I believe is one of the more difficult aspects of a relationship. Marriage like most things go through seasons. There is a time when you can’t keep your hands off one another. Then there are other times, when if you touch me , I am going to scream. The old saying that absent makes the heart grow founder is still true.  We all need time along to contemplate who and what we are to discover where we are going.
  5. Appreciation, is one of the less exercised asset in a marriage. How quick we take from granted the everyday thing. Appreciation, is subtle reminders of a person’s  selfless actions. Everyone could benefit from greater appreciation of their spouse.

Now I will attempt to speak for women. I do this with the disclaimer, that the idea express here are observations can be misunderstood. What does it take for a woman to be in a happy marriage. Safety, Respect , care and belief. As you see there are a few different items under the female column.  Safety, ranks first in my observation and it is easily arguable but facts bear this out.  The feeling of safety frees a woman to be herself, it allows her the comfort to open herself emotional, psychologically and physically. Respect, it more detailed where women are concerned. Socially respect ties to monogamy, and transcends to person validation; “Do you really listen and respond appropriately to what you hear.” The next one is the most difficult for most men and that “Care”. Care is difficult because it’s almost impossible to know if you got it right, like parent you don’t know for years if your effort were for nothing. I proclaim that men fail at care because the bar appears to move often. Men, we have to learn to care for our spouse, by listen, by engaging with family and friend but most of all through prayer and supplication. Last on the list but by no means least is belief. Women, in their day to day world navigate shark infested waters created by other women. Nothing like it exist in the male world. Therefore, validation is important to women. It is your responsibility to encourage, uplift and support your wife.  

If you want a happy wife do these things listed here . If you want a happy husband follow the lessons here. If each individual sets out to make the other happy using this information as a guide then you will find yourself in a lasting and happy marriage.

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